It is not much to look at!  The once-vivid display of color is now washed out.  Many of the blooms are spent, and the aging tomato vines struggle to hold their fruit.  In many instances, things have literally gone to seed (as captured in the forefront of the photo from left to right – parley, dill, and fennel), and much of the eager anticipation of what is to come has started to fade like a late summer sunset.  The garden isn’t perfect.  But, it is absolutely well enough.

This summer, as Travis and I explored the societal pressure of “perfection” as part of our four-week Summer Series, one of the phrases that came up fairly often in our conversations after worship or during our educational opportunities (in person and online) was the notion of “good enough.”  In other words, rather than striving for “perfection,” many people found that aiming for “good enough” was much more realistic and attainable.  

Now, on the one hand, I absolutely agreed when people shared this sentiment with me; but, at the same time, I found it unsettling.  Why?   The words “good enough,” at least in my mind, kept feeling like an excuse to do things half-heartedly, almost a sort of cop-out.  This wasn’t what people were implying, but that is what my heart kept hearing.  I was feeling the tension between wanting to do things well and taking healthy pride in what I do, while also wanting to remember God’s role and God’s grace in the midst of it all. 

Upon reflecting on why I felt this way, I realized I needed to discover other words that I could use for myself that others might appreciate, too.  It turns out that the phrase “well enough” actually fits what I was looking for, more so than I realized.

According to the Merriam-Webster dictionary, the definition of “well” includes [1]*:

• “ in a good or proper manner”
• “satisfactorily with respect to conduct or action”
• “in a kindly or friendly manner”
• “in a way appropriate to the facts or circumstances”

Thus, for me, “well enough” means striving towards excellence (proper manner, satisfactory action, rooted in kindness) while at the same time humbly acknowledging and relying on God’s grace (“for my grace is sufficient for you”) and power (through Christ who dwells in me) to approach the circumstances appropriately.  Or, more simply put, “well enough” in my mind means striving to do things “well” while also being prayerfully attentive to when “enough” is enough!

Returning to our garden, it certainly isn’t what it was several months ago, but its actions are absolutely “appropriate to the circumstances.”  For example, the sunflower petals are beginning to shrivel up and the stems can barely hold the weight of the plants now, so it may seem as though the beauty of the plants (their “perfection”) is starting to wane.  However, the sunflowers are signaling to us, the many goldfinches (one hidden in the photo), and other pollinators that visit our garden that the seeds are ready to harvest.  Similarly, the “spent” (dying) parsley, dill, and fennel plants are all currently preparing to sow their seeds upon the earth so that new plants will come again next spring.

The late-summer garden is not the beautiful, fresh garden of the spring, nor should it be.  Rather, it is exactly what it is supposed to be right now: producing food for animals who are preparing for the winter and putting down the seeds that will sprout into next season’s life when winter breaks.  It is a well-enough garden, appropriate for its time, place, and function.  Perhaps we can take a lesson from this for our own lives: rather than trying to live into some constant, objective, elusive notion of “perfection,” we can recognize that we are well enough, too.

May all be well (enough),

Karen H. Webster

HSHC co-founder/executive director

P.S. – Please check out our “Health Highlight” section in our September 2024 newsletter for some “well enough” reflection questions and several articles that provide some strategies for approaching “perfection” in a healthier way. 

Reference:

1. https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/well

As I write this newsletter article, I am mindful that the old local high school, which I am told was built in the 1950’s, is being torn down just a couple blocks from our home.  I pass it every day on my way to and from church; each time I go by, a new wall has been removed, exposing classrooms, chalkboards (the old-fashioned green kind), hallways, and stairwells to the elements.  When Karen and I first arrived in Murrysville in spring 2021, we didn’t realize that it was in its last few months of use, and it has stood quiet ever since, until its demolition commenced.    

Although the school has no personal meaning to me, I know its destruction has brought sadness and a sense of nostalgia to generations of students.  Every time I see it, I think of the tremendous amount of life that unfolded in that place: the epiphanies, the joys, the heartaches, the dramas that are part of adolescent existence.  If those crumbling walls could talk, they would speak countless words about what it means to be a young person learning how to make one’s way in the world. 

I wonder what those falling bricks, wrested from their seemingly unyielding stations, would say about the human desire for popularity?  I am sure they could witness to a phenomenon that has been consistent across countless millennia: people want, often desperately, to be liked.  Frequently, we want to be liked so badly that we are willing to sacrifice much of what makes us who we genuinely are in order to be understood in particular ways.  

The drive to be popular is an exceedingly powerful force.  Even those of us who are well past that age struggle with the same concerns.  Peer pressure, comparisons, and the in-crowd are powerful concepts that we never really escape.  The impulse to be popular can prompt us to subscribe to often hideous fashions, it can drive us to say often disingenuous things, it can move us to reject often constructive advice.  Popularity is a relentless taskmaster. 

The Bible is quite realistic about the human craving for popularity.  When Samuel was called to anoint the next king of Israel, God warned him about relying on visual presentation alone: “Do not look on his appearance or on the height of his stature, because I have rejected him, for the Lord does not see as mortals see; they look on the outward appearance, but the Lord looks on the heart.”[1]  God is directly warning us not to get caught up in the physicality of this mortal world, but rather, to look deeper. 

In Luke 9:25, Jesus asks,  “For what does it profit them if they gain the whole world but lose or forfeit themselves?”[2]  Here, Jesus confronts authenticity, preaching that no amount of secular success is worth surrendering our spiritual integrity. 

Addressing a nascent church operating in the seat of secular imperial power, Paul wrote, “Do not be conformed to this age, but be transformed by the renewing of the mind, so that you may discern what is the will of God – what is good and acceptable and perfect.”[3]  Paul clearly recognizes the importance of not getting caught up in the “fad” of the time, but staying true to God’s intention. 

As I pass the school, I try to think not only of the nostalgia, but also of the symbolic breakdown of the pressures of popularity those students must have felt, and that I feel even today.  As each falling brick exposes a new chalkboard, so too does the facade of popularity fall.  Maybe we can learn from this symbolism, breaking down our own facades of disingenuity.  

It is easy to get caught in a seemingly intractable tension: between being popular and being genuine.  Yet, when the ‘school’ comes down, it’s not about the approval of your classmates or colleagues, but of yourself and God.  The hard, true question we all need to ask ourselves becomes clear: Whom are we trying to please?  When we are honest about that, the concept of popularity becomes less a matter of survival than it does one of perspective.  If we are trying primarily to make other people happy, there are infinite standards of concern; if we are trying primarily to live in ways acceptable to God, there is only one viewpoint that truly counts.  

Maybe that’s what a lot of life is about: discerning whose opinion matters – that of being “beloved by the people”[4] (which is what the word “popularity” literally means), regardless of how fickle a benchmark that may be, or recognizing that we are the beloved of the eternal Lord, no matter what.  

The choice of concentration is ours, but the reality is not.  Thanks be to God for holding us, accepting us, and loving us when the walls crumble and we are faced with our raw and authentic selves. 

Peace,

Travis

HSHC Co-founder

P.S. – I hope you will join us for our upcoming summer series where we will be exploring popularity and other social pressures (productivity and perfection). Click here to learn more, and click here to register. 

References:

[1] 1 Samuel 16:7

[2] Luke 9:25

[3] Romans 12:2

[4] https://www.etymonline.com/word/popularity, viewed May 20, 2024.

April 2020 – Here is what one of our Lenten Challenge participants shared about their experience this year…

“I signed up for the Lenten challenge because for me, it helps to have structure to my spiritual time. The reflections each week that were sent helped to center the topic for that week. During that week, each day presented a different way of looking at the topic.

For example, the week on “honesty” included questions directed about honesty and God, honesty and self, honesty and loved ones, honesty and my community, honesty and creation. Some of these were extremely personal for me, like, how honest am I with God?

Some were not as pertinent, such as honesty and creation, although I’m concerned about creation and environment, that is not a priority for me right now. I really had to think about some of the questions posed, which was good during the Lenten season, as we can use that time to reflect.

The topic of forgiveness was most personal for me, as I question whether I have truly forgiven those who have hurt me. I think I have, but I need to reach out to God and ask for help if I have not been able to forgive. I also need to forgive myself constantly, as most people say, “you are too hard on yourself”. Funny to be thinking of forgiveness in relation to me; may God help me in this area. The Lenten reflection ended with a “bonus” week, that of Holy Week. I was so glad to end the Lenten challenge with “Christ is risen.”

Reflection by Sue Buchholz from Atlanta, GA, Lenten Challenge Participant

Change is all around; can you feel it? The heavy and somber season of Lent has been replaced with the light and joy of Easter! More and more people throughout the country are getting vaccinated, which is allowing for glimmers of normalcy. It has been touching to read about the grandparents who are finally able to travel and visit their grandchildren, some for the first time. And, for many of us, springtime changes, the bursting forth of the beautiful trees and flowers, has meant always having a tissue box close at hand!

Change is always happening all around us… good change, fun change, painful change, unexpected change, unknown change. Sometimes, we are able to anticipate it before it happens, and other times, we are blindsided by it. Experiencing change is part of what it means to be human; however, how we adjust and adapt (or not) to change significantly impacts our overall health and wellbeing (as individuals, communities, and beyond).

I find that the fifty-day Eastertide season, in which, as I write this, we are on day six, is a wonderful time to reflect on the various changes that are taking place in our lives and how are we being moved to respond. This liturgical season is a reminder that, through Christ’s death and resurrection, our lives were, and are forever, changed. How do we adequately respond to this amazing good news?

In addition to reflecting on change and movement as it relates to Easter, Travis and I have been experiencing these themes physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually as we packed up our belongings in Decatur, GA, at the end of February and moved to Murrysville, PA (20 miles east of Pittsburgh). 

Leaving Decatur was bittersweet. It was the place where we had lived the longest as a married couple. It was there where Travis and I felt called by God to establish HSHC. It was there where we had established many wonderful relationships. 

Yet, it was also there, after much prayer and discernment with others, that we felt God calling us to move to Murrysville, PA, so that Travis could become Newlonsburg Presbyterian Church’s next associate pastor and so that I could continue to develop and expand the outreach of HSHC.

In the midst of all of our recent changes and new beginnings, one of the scripture passages that helped us stay grounded (moving is stressful enough even without COVID… yikes!) is Hebrews 13:8: “Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever.” While we are starting to settle into our new home and community and are excited to be here, we are both a bit anxious as to how the next chapter of our lives is going to unfold. However, knowing the consistency of God’s love, in and through what Christ did for us, gives us great comfort.

During this season of new beginnings and change, we want to invite you to reflect on the following questions:

• How do you feel about change right now? Are you ready for it? Fearful of it? Exhausted by it? Something else? 
• What does it mean to you that Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, and today, and forever? 
• “Change is hard because people overestimate the value of what they have—and underestimate the value of what they may gain by giving that up.” – James Belasco and Ralph Stayer, Flight of the Buffalo (1994)  Do you agree or disagree with this quote? Why?
• Do you feel God calling you to make some sort of change (big or small)? 
• Where do you find God in the midst of change?

Peace, 

Karen and Travis Webster 
HSHC Co-founders

Dealing with the physical aspects of COVID has received a lot of attention in media.  However, the mental, emotional, and spiritual impacts COVID is having, particularly among COVID survivors, need far greater awareness than it is currently receiving.  In order to get a better understanding of the impact of COVID on these other aspects of health, Karen Webster, HSHC Executive Director, recently interviewed a community of faith member who shared their COVID journey.  To learn more, check out their Q&A session below. 

When did you have COVID, and how did you experience it?

“I had COVID in mid-November, and I’ve no idea where I got it.  I wore masks everywhere.  I started coming down with COVID symptoms right in the midst of celebrating my husband’s mother’s 90^th birthday with a very small gathering of close family members, followed the next day by our daughter celebrating her 16^th birthday with a very small group of her closest friends in our front yard with everyone wearing masks and socially distancing themselves. 

Since we had visited family out-of-town, my husband’s boss had said, ‘I want you to get a COVID test before you come back to work.’ My husband’s result turned up negative and, for a moment, I thought I would be ok, but mine, however, turned up positive.  And I just remember thinking to myself, “What? How can this be?” I was shocked and mortified.

My husband immediately called his 90-year-old mother, and he, too, started panicking because it was his side of the family we had just visited – his brother, who’s over 60, sister-in-law, his niece, and nephew.  I immediately started having a shame panic attack.

The first person I called was my mom, and she said to me, “Well, did you get tested before you went?” She immediately made me feel even worse than I was already feeling about myself and all my regrets, the guilt.  I hung up and cried. What did I just do?  I just endangered all of these people. The people I love the most could die now. It’s my fault. I’m sick… That was the worst hour.

Whom did you feel comfortable telling/who was your support network?

“I’m a private person, so normally I would not have told anybody else.  However, in this instance, I had to share the news with my husband’s family and the people who attended my daughter’s birthday party, which included telling my four closest friends who had been at the party… crying.  In terms of my support network, I told my friends because I had to, but really it was only my husband and daughter.  COVID is very isolating.  First, you’re told to quarantine, and then, if you’re feeling shameful about it, it is a super isolating disease.”

What messages were you receiving that impacted how and with whom you shared your diagnosis?  How did those make you feel about your diagnosis?

“Internally, I thought, ‘How could I have done this to people?… holding on tightly to shame and regret.  Externally, my friends said to me, “You know, you didn’t do anything wrong.  You were careful.” Through the process of sharing with my four friends, I felt cared for.  And then, because they interacted with other people I knew, they would tell me, “Oh, I told so-and-so, and they’re really concerned about you,” and my first reaction inside would be, “You told them!?” I really didn’t want anybody outside of my super tight inner circle to know because I was afraid I was going to be judged.  And the thing that surprised me and I did not anticipate is anyone being concerned about me and my health.  Rather, I had been thinking, “I’m bad.. Are they going to be mad at me? They’re judging me…Who did I almost kill?”

What could your faith community have done to support you while you were sick?  Is there any support you would like from them now?

In terms of my faith community, I emailed my two pastors because I knew they were safe people to tell and that they were there for me.  They wrote back, “Oh no, let me know if there’s anything I can do.” And that was it.  Looking back, I think what would have been helpful was to have received a phone call from one of, or both of them, to help me discern what I needed because at the time, I did not know what I needed!

I also serve on one of the congregation’s leadership teams, and, at first, I didn’t tell them because it didn’t occur to me.   However, at a meeting shortly after my illness, someone started asking about how those in church could “help those people.” This upset me and, without having planned through what I was going to say, I immediately jumped in and shared my experience as a COVID survivor.  

COVID is challenging enough physically, and then to add the stigma… you must have caught COVID by not wearing a mask or doing something you shouldn’t have done or going somewhere or not washing your hands or not doing something you should have done… I’ve even caught myself thinking, “Well, of course, that person got it, because they…” From a cultural-global-spiritual perspective, COVID is really highlighting our biases, stereotypes, judgments, and hypocrisies.  The committee appreciated that I brought this awareness to them while, at the same time, I experienced being cared for.

Any final thoughts?

“I grew up in the eighties during the AIDS epidemic.  My immediate reaction after having gotten the positive test for COVID was a deep, new compassion and empathy for people who had AIDS.  In the eighties, we heard about them, and we judged them.  Having COVID, I realized that they not only had to deal with being physically sick, but they also had to deal with mental and emotional pain from being stigmatized… guilt, shame, “Who got sick because of me?” It would be interesting to talk to someone who also had coronavirus and AIDS and see if it’s any kind of similarity.”

Reflecting on my experience spiritually, the only thing I can compare having COVID to is all of the grief, despair, and complete brokenness I felt when my dad was diagnosed with cancer and died, a six-week process from diagnosis to death.  Through the experience of the brokenness I felt after my dad died, I learned that I was loved not because of how much I do and who I am (type A, high achiever, successful athlete), but I learned that people loved me, and I was lovable even at my worst, my most broken.  And my experience with COVID was learning that lesson again, on another level.  So, actually, it has been a very cool spiritual period.”

January 2021 – Reflection provided by Debby Haralson, Chief Operating Officer of The WellHouse, D.Min. student at McAfee School of Theology, Mercer University (Atlanta, GA)

“I was intrigued to learn about Healthy Seminarians-Healthy Church’s online small- group program last fall. Working in a trauma-based ministry where every need feels absolutely immediate, I have seen many gifted caregivers exit the field early and exhausted.

Leaders tend to agree that caring for self is critical. But how? How, when a newly minted minister enters an arena that publicly praises sacrifice and servanthood while well-being, strength, and stamina are simply expected?

Healthy Seminarians-Healthy Church’s program effectively equips a minister for this conversation. Providing a much-needed Biblical/theological framework around caring for self, HSHC challenges participants to explore a holistic kind of spirituality that honors God through work and rest; activism along with contemplation. Here’s hoping that tomorrow’s ministry leaders can embody such balance. Those we serve will benefit from this kind of faith-filled service. We can’t do everything, but God can. Karen Webster and her team have much wisdom to share along these lines. We would be wise to take heed.”