April 2020 – Here is what one of our Lenten Challenge participants shared about their experience this year…

“I signed up for the Lenten challenge because for me, it helps to have structure to my spiritual time. The reflections each week that were sent helped to center the topic for that week. During that week, each day presented a different way of looking at the topic.

For example, the week on “honesty” included questions directed about honesty and God, honesty and self, honesty and loved ones, honesty and my community, honesty and creation. Some of these were extremely personal for me, like, how honest am I with God?

Some were not as pertinent, such as honesty and creation, although I’m concerned about creation and environment, that is not a priority for me right now. I really had to think about some of the questions posed, which was good during the Lenten season, as we can use that time to reflect.

The topic of forgiveness was most personal for me, as I question whether I have truly forgiven those who have hurt me. I think I have, but I need to reach out to God and ask for help if I have not been able to forgive. I also need to forgive myself constantly, as most people say, “you are too hard on yourself”. Funny to be thinking of forgiveness in relation to me; may God help me in this area. The Lenten reflection ended with a “bonus” week, that of Holy Week. I was so glad to end the Lenten challenge with “Christ is risen.”

Reflection by Sue Buchholz from Atlanta, GA, Lenten Challenge Participant

Change is all around; can you feel it? The heavy and somber season of Lent has been replaced with the light and joy of Easter! More and more people throughout the country are getting vaccinated, which is allowing for glimmers of normalcy. It has been touching to read about the grandparents who are finally able to travel and visit their grandchildren, some for the first time. And, for many of us, springtime changes, the bursting forth of the beautiful trees and flowers, has meant always having a tissue box close at hand!

Change is always happening all around us… good change, fun change, painful change, unexpected change, unknown change. Sometimes, we are able to anticipate it before it happens, and other times, we are blindsided by it. Experiencing change is part of what it means to be human; however, how we adjust and adapt (or not) to change significantly impacts our overall health and wellbeing (as individuals, communities, and beyond).

I find that the fifty-day Eastertide season, in which, as I write this, we are on day six, is a wonderful time to reflect on the various changes that are taking place in our lives and how are we being moved to respond. This liturgical season is a reminder that, through Christ’s death and resurrection, our lives were, and are forever, changed. How do we adequately respond to this amazing good news?

In addition to reflecting on change and movement as it relates to Easter, Travis and I have been experiencing these themes physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually as we packed up our belongings in Decatur, GA, at the end of February and moved to Murrysville, PA (20 miles east of Pittsburgh). 

Leaving Decatur was bittersweet. It was the place where we had lived the longest as a married couple. It was there where Travis and I felt called by God to establish HSHC. It was there where we had established many wonderful relationships. 

Yet, it was also there, after much prayer and discernment with others, that we felt God calling us to move to Murrysville, PA, so that Travis could become Newlonsburg Presbyterian Church’s next associate pastor and so that I could continue to develop and expand the outreach of HSHC.

In the midst of all of our recent changes and new beginnings, one of the scripture passages that helped us stay grounded (moving is stressful enough even without COVID… yikes!) is Hebrews 13:8: “Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever.” While we are starting to settle into our new home and community and are excited to be here, we are both a bit anxious as to how the next chapter of our lives is going to unfold. However, knowing the consistency of God’s love, in and through what Christ did for us, gives us great comfort.

During this season of new beginnings and change, we want to invite you to reflect on the following questions:

• How do you feel about change right now? Are you ready for it? Fearful of it? Exhausted by it? Something else? 
• What does it mean to you that Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, and today, and forever? 
• “Change is hard because people overestimate the value of what they have—and underestimate the value of what they may gain by giving that up.” – James Belasco and Ralph Stayer, Flight of the Buffalo (1994)  Do you agree or disagree with this quote? Why?
• Do you feel God calling you to make some sort of change (big or small)? 
• Where do you find God in the midst of change?

Peace, 

Karen and Travis Webster 
HSHC Co-founders

Dealing with the physical aspects of COVID has received a lot of attention in media.  However, the mental, emotional, and spiritual impacts COVID is having, particularly among COVID survivors, need far greater awareness than it is currently receiving.  In order to get a better understanding of the impact of COVID on these other aspects of health, Karen Webster, HSHC Executive Director, recently interviewed a community of faith member who shared their COVID journey.  To learn more, check out their Q&A session below. 

When did you have COVID, and how did you experience it?

“I had COVID in mid-November, and I’ve no idea where I got it.  I wore masks everywhere.  I started coming down with COVID symptoms right in the midst of celebrating my husband’s mother’s 90^th birthday with a very small gathering of close family members, followed the next day by our daughter celebrating her 16^th birthday with a very small group of her closest friends in our front yard with everyone wearing masks and socially distancing themselves. 

Since we had visited family out-of-town, my husband’s boss had said, ‘I want you to get a COVID test before you come back to work.’ My husband’s result turned up negative and, for a moment, I thought I would be ok, but mine, however, turned up positive.  And I just remember thinking to myself, “What? How can this be?” I was shocked and mortified.

My husband immediately called his 90-year-old mother, and he, too, started panicking because it was his side of the family we had just visited – his brother, who’s over 60, sister-in-law, his niece, and nephew.  I immediately started having a shame panic attack.

The first person I called was my mom, and she said to me, “Well, did you get tested before you went?” She immediately made me feel even worse than I was already feeling about myself and all my regrets, the guilt.  I hung up and cried. What did I just do?  I just endangered all of these people. The people I love the most could die now. It’s my fault. I’m sick… That was the worst hour.

Whom did you feel comfortable telling/who was your support network?

“I’m a private person, so normally I would not have told anybody else.  However, in this instance, I had to share the news with my husband’s family and the people who attended my daughter’s birthday party, which included telling my four closest friends who had been at the party… crying.  In terms of my support network, I told my friends because I had to, but really it was only my husband and daughter.  COVID is very isolating.  First, you’re told to quarantine, and then, if you’re feeling shameful about it, it is a super isolating disease.”

What messages were you receiving that impacted how and with whom you shared your diagnosis?  How did those make you feel about your diagnosis?

“Internally, I thought, ‘How could I have done this to people?… holding on tightly to shame and regret.  Externally, my friends said to me, “You know, you didn’t do anything wrong.  You were careful.” Through the process of sharing with my four friends, I felt cared for.  And then, because they interacted with other people I knew, they would tell me, “Oh, I told so-and-so, and they’re really concerned about you,” and my first reaction inside would be, “You told them!?” I really didn’t want anybody outside of my super tight inner circle to know because I was afraid I was going to be judged.  And the thing that surprised me and I did not anticipate is anyone being concerned about me and my health.  Rather, I had been thinking, “I’m bad.. Are they going to be mad at me? They’re judging me…Who did I almost kill?”

What could your faith community have done to support you while you were sick?  Is there any support you would like from them now?

In terms of my faith community, I emailed my two pastors because I knew they were safe people to tell and that they were there for me.  They wrote back, “Oh no, let me know if there’s anything I can do.” And that was it.  Looking back, I think what would have been helpful was to have received a phone call from one of, or both of them, to help me discern what I needed because at the time, I did not know what I needed!

I also serve on one of the congregation’s leadership teams, and, at first, I didn’t tell them because it didn’t occur to me.   However, at a meeting shortly after my illness, someone started asking about how those in church could “help those people.” This upset me and, without having planned through what I was going to say, I immediately jumped in and shared my experience as a COVID survivor.  

COVID is challenging enough physically, and then to add the stigma… you must have caught COVID by not wearing a mask or doing something you shouldn’t have done or going somewhere or not washing your hands or not doing something you should have done… I’ve even caught myself thinking, “Well, of course, that person got it, because they…” From a cultural-global-spiritual perspective, COVID is really highlighting our biases, stereotypes, judgments, and hypocrisies.  The committee appreciated that I brought this awareness to them while, at the same time, I experienced being cared for.

Any final thoughts?

“I grew up in the eighties during the AIDS epidemic.  My immediate reaction after having gotten the positive test for COVID was a deep, new compassion and empathy for people who had AIDS.  In the eighties, we heard about them, and we judged them.  Having COVID, I realized that they not only had to deal with being physically sick, but they also had to deal with mental and emotional pain from being stigmatized… guilt, shame, “Who got sick because of me?” It would be interesting to talk to someone who also had coronavirus and AIDS and see if it’s any kind of similarity.”

Reflecting on my experience spiritually, the only thing I can compare having COVID to is all of the grief, despair, and complete brokenness I felt when my dad was diagnosed with cancer and died, a six-week process from diagnosis to death.  Through the experience of the brokenness I felt after my dad died, I learned that I was loved not because of how much I do and who I am (type A, high achiever, successful athlete), but I learned that people loved me, and I was lovable even at my worst, my most broken.  And my experience with COVID was learning that lesson again, on another level.  So, actually, it has been a very cool spiritual period.”

January 2021 – Happy New Year and welcome to ordinary time! Ordinary time? While vaccinations are starting to be distributed and hope is on the horizon, sheltering in place, social distancing, and wearing masks are still expected. If that is what is considered ordinary, no thank you! 

Ok, no, things are clearly not back to “normal” yet, but we have circled back to the liturgical time of the year that is called “Ordinary Time” and today is actually day two in ordinary time. It is the time of year that is not directly connected with either the Christmas or Easter seasons (second week in January through the start of Lent as well as the days after Easter through the beginning of Advent). So the meaning of “ordinary” comes from the ordinal numerals by which the weeks have been identified as opposed to how we might feel about our present circumstances. 

I don’t know about you, but even in previous years, when we were not faced by the challenges of COVID, this time of year between Christmas and Lent has always felt strange to me. Living in between the time of joy and celebration of Christ’s birth and the excitement of the New Year followed a few short weeks later by a season of penance and fasting during Lent. It feels a bit like some sort of spiritual and emotional whiplash. Given this tension I experience in “normal ordinary times,” I found myself pondering, “Is there something I can do this year to approach this ordinary time differently?” 

I found myself drawn to a piece I read years ago by author Kathleen Norris. In“The Quotidian Mysteries: Laundry, Liturgy, and Women’s Work,” Norris begins by defining “quotidian” as that which occurs every day; belonging to every day; commonplace, ordinary [1].” She goes on to discuss the challenges that can arise when “the daily routines that provide a modicum of discipline in our lives are perceived as a drag, a monotony that can occasion listlessness, apathy, and despair [2].”

I don’t know about you, but, yes, I’m tired of not being able to interact with others without fearing that “I” or “they” could make each other sick. Yes, I’m tired of trying to make plans, but then having to cancel them due to COVID. I’m tired of… fill in the blank… and quite frankly my patience is starting to wear thin! She then goes onto write, “Just when daily life seems most unbearable, stretching out before me like a prison sentence, when I seem more dead inside, reduced to mindlessness, bitter tears or both, that what is inmost breaks forth, and I realize that what has seemed ‘dead time” was actually a period of gestation [3].” 

During this ordinary time, I want to challenge us all to consider how God is using this time to birth something new within us – as individuals, in our communities, and in our world! Given all of the possibilities, I’d say we are truly living in an extraordinary ordinary time!

Peace and blessings be with you during this extraordinary time and beyond! 

Karen Webster 

“Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it?”

Isaiah 43:18-19 (NIV) 

Photo by Murray Campbell on Unsplash

[1] Norris, Kathleen. The Quotidian Mysteries: Laundry, Liturgy, and “Women’s Work”. New York: Paulist Press, 1998, preface.
[2] Ibid, p. 6. 
[3] Ibid, p. 10.

One of the ways we have been tending to our overall health and wellbeing over the last several months is by being more intentional about making space for play in our lives, which we confess is one of the first things we let go of when we are feeling anxious or pressured to be “productive.”  For example, several months ago, Travis and I made a commitment to spend more time doing jigsaw puzzles.  This was something we had not done in almost 18 years of marriage.  While we may not be the fastest “puzzlers,” we have thoroughly enjoyed how working on puzzles quiets our minds as we set aside our “to-do lists” and the concerns of the day simply to focus on shapes, colors, and the subtle nuances of the puzzle pieces.  This has helped lower our stress and improve our sense of wellbeing.

In addition to puzzles, we have also tried to be more open to playing games.  The most recent new one we tried was Drawful 2 (more details to follow), to which my brother and his family introduced us several weeks ago during a visit.  

Having lived apart from my family for 10+ years has meant that we have long been using internet video calls to communicate, which, thankfully, helped lessen the online learning curve and quick transition that COVID made necessary.  Who would have imagined a year ago that we would be attending church services, baby showers, birthdays, and graduations, as well as playing games with family and friends, online?  While these online gatherings are not ideal, we are thankful for the opportunity to connect and be in a relationship with others, especially given the physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual toll that the pandemic is continuing to have on our lives.

For those who are not familiar with Drawful 2 (a game that can be played well either in person or via Zoom, Skype, or Facetime), each player receives a “unique” (that is, weird!) prompt that they must try to draw on their mobile devices (without the ability to erase once you start drawing!).  For example, when playing with my family (dad, brother, sister-in-law, and two young nieces), we had to draw things such as “a pool full of salad,” “summer tuxedo,” and “throwing shadow.”  After each “artist” presents their work, everyone else anonymously proposes a title for this bizarre drawing. 

The goal is to somehow find the correct prompt while fooling other players into selecting your decoy answer, both of which earn you points.  Ultimately, the person who receives the most points “wins.”  However, with the amount of laughter the game produced when we played, we thought everybody “won” in terms of its positive impact on our mental and emotional health!    

Now, of course, we could not help but think theologically about the parallels between playing Drawful 2 and dealing with COVID.  Here are some of our reflections: 

• At the start of 2020, pre-pandemic, most of us probably had a fairly clear picture in our minds of how the year was going to unfold.  Similarly, with Drawful 2, when you read the phrase you are supposed to draw, your mind almost immediately creates an image.
• Once the pandemic started, 2020 ended up looking nothing at all like what we had envisioned!  The same thing happens when playing Drawful.  At no point did what I draw look remotely like what I imagined, despite my best efforts.
• We are now facing the fact that the majority of 2020 has gone by and there are probably some things we wish we could erase, or perhaps just begin anew, but can’t.  Similarly, with Drawful, once you start drawing, you can’t go back and erase what has happened; you simply have to live with it the best you can. 
• While we don’t know how long the pandemic is going to last, we know that God is with us and loves us and that, through our trust in God, we have faith that the overall outcome will be okay.  With Drawful, no matter how bad the drawings, and no matter how many points we get (or don’t), we know everyone will enjoy themselves.

Making time for play, particularly with our friends and families, is, in our experience, one of the best ways we can all tend to our overall health and wellbeing, both during this anxious time and into the future.

Want to add some (socially safe) play to your life?  Here are three recommendations.  Note: the games range from easy to complicated, 2 minutes to several hours, kid-friendly to experts-only, and few to many players!  

• Boardgamearena.com (FREE and premium accounts – $4/month): over 200 games available in multiple languages.  Players create a free account and can invite friends to join their game table using their individual usernames.  Games are divided by number of players, play time, and complexity.  This site has a group video option if you buy a premium account and are playing with fewer than 4 players.  A premium account gives you access to all 245 games, but it will probably be a while before you get bored with the free options!  Players can join from a tablet or laptop, but we don’t recommend playing on a phone. 
• Drawful 2 can be found at Jackboxgames.com (games cost from $5 to $20) – this site lets a group of people play internet games together in person or remotely.  Most games are an internet version of classics like Charades, Balderdash, Pictionary, Trivia, etc., but with a twist.  Games can be purchased individually or in a “Party Pack.”  Players can join from a smartphone, tablet, or laptop using a room code.  
• playingcards.io (FREE) – this site lets a group of people play card games (and some simple board games) remotely.  Choose from one of 13 pre-programmed games or create a custom room to play any of your favorite card games.  Players can join from a smartphone, tablet, or laptop using a room code. 

November 2020 – Last month, Travis and I had the opportunity to “unplug from technology” for several days by staying at my family’s little cabin in the woods in northern California. The cabin is modern enough to provide the comforts of electricity and hot water (thankfully!), but rustic enough that there is neither TV nor internet and, in order to make a cell phone call or send and receive email messages, one must walk about a quarter of a mile down the road and hope that it is not too windy or too cloudy. 

Something we did this past trip that I have never done during my whole time going to our cabin (almost 45 years!) was to sit still on my favorite log in the meadow behind our cabin long enough to watch the sunset behind the mountains. It was so fun that we did this not just once but on several occasions! In the past, I had been accustomed to going out to the meadow, but only for a few moments; I would briefly pause and enjoy the amazing beauty that surrounded me, quickly reflecting on the changes that had taken place in my life over the previous year, before hurrying back to the cabin so that I could get in a quick game of horseshoes or a few swings at the whiffle ball before it got too dark and/or I had to go inside to help with the next meal. 

The result of pausing? The opportunity to hear a silence that is loud with life! 

So often, when we think of or hear the word “silence,” we imagine “a lack of sound or noise,” which is natural, since that is the technical definition of “silence.” However, in being silent (not speaking or moving), Travis and I found that the “noise and constant chatter” in our minds were quieted long enough for our other senses to be awakened. In the silence of the meadow, we: 

● Heard the autumn trees gently “clapping their hands” in the late afternoon breeze as the frogs croaked.

● Saw cobwebs drifting across the sky, insects dancing, birds soaring, and the shadow of the mountain gradually bringing about nighttime rest from the fullness of the day’s activities.

● Felt the temperature drop drastically and suddenly, reminiscent of what it was like experiencing the full solar eclipse several years ago. 

● Experienced the subtle changes in the scent of the meadow as the fragrance of the dry grasses baking in the afternoon sun transitioned to a sweet earthiness that rose from the soil as twilight set in. 

Silence can sometimes lead us to a sense of emptiness and loss because we are so used to being surrounded by noise (both internal and external). Yet, the silence we experienced was far from feeling empty. Rather, in the silence, we were spiritually refreshed and physically rejuvenated as we sat surrounded by the company of God’s creation. Right now, there are many who are experiencing a great sense of “loneliness,” while others are longing for some “alone” time, especially for those whose residences are serving as home + office + school + gym + church + entertainment venue + other. 

Whatever your situation, we want to encourage you to pause for some silence and perhaps reflect on the following questions: 

● For those who find silence uncomfortable: take some time to observe the richness that can come from silence. What new things do you see, smell, taste, feel, etc.? 

● For those who yearn for some silence: consider creating intentional times and spaces for silence. If you are in a crowded home, this may take some negotiation and creativity, but it is well worth the effort! 

Peace, 

Karen and Travis Webster
HSHC Co-founders